Last Friday night some friends and I went out to 1912, a brightly lit collection of bars and clubs in Nanjing. The first bar we went to ended up being too crowded. We decided to go to another club in Nanjing that reminds me of the Chinese version of a Las Vegas club, complete with green lasers and fancy decor. They mostly played American music, as well.

As soon as we got there, we were ushered to a table and presented these very nice VIP cards that enable us to buy half price beers and as you can see, “a bottle of liquor with a disk of fruit” for 400rmb (less than $60). What I find even more hilarious is that this card can only be used by foreigners! We ordered a bottle whiskey and the server poured the whiskey into a pitcher, and then brings out four bottles of green tea and begins to fill the pitcher with it. Although I would never try that combination, it wasn’t half bad. However, I’m still not comfortable tainting my whiskey like that.

I have spent countless hours learning Chinese characters, yet I still cannot understand a Chinese menu for the life of me. This makes going out to restaurants a very interesting experience. Often times I just ask if they have things I know that I like. Sometimes I ask what they recommend. The Chinese eat family style, so they bring out a lot of dishes that everybody shares. I like going with a Chinese friend because they usually order good stuff.

One time after being out running an errand, my two American friends and I decided to eat at a Chinese restaurant that had some outside seating. There was only one other group of people there, and they were inside. We didn’t mind. We ordered some beers and decided to ask what the waitress recommended for us to eat. None of us could understand what the waitress told us because she spoke way too fast, so we just said we’d take it. Our first dish came out, and it ended up being pretty good. As we were eating it I noticed an old woman come outside with a rather long catfish-looking thing. She dumped it onto the ground and it started flipping around wildly on the concrete. Next, she grabbed a butcher knife from a nearby table and tried to hack away at this wildly flopping fish, but the blade kept bouncing off of it somehow. After what seemed like an eternity, the fish finally stopped moving. She collected the fish parts and went inside. I really hope that we didn’t order that. After the horrific spectacle, our next dish immediately came out and it was a really tasty fried beef and lettuce stir fry. Once we were done with that dish, our waitress comes out with a pot and a burner. Inside the pot I see my flopping friend blankly staring at me. Not only was the smell putrid but he was looking right at me! I couldn’t eat it.

Victoria Peak in Hong Kong

After cruising around Hong Kong for a good five days, two of my work friends and I went to Guangzhou for a night before catching our flight back to Nanjing. After we did a few touristy things we decided to head back to the hotel around 11pm. Our hotel is at the end of a street full of bars along the Pearl River. As we were walking down the bar strip, Barron had the great idea for us to do a bar crawl before going back to the hotel. Haomin and I hesitatingly agreed, and we jumped into the first brightly lit bar with 18 year old girls trying to reel us in. As soon as we got in, I see a pretty cute Chinese girl on a colorful stage, and she is singing songs with a DJ in the background. As she’s singing, 4 scantily clad women emerge from the backstage and begin to do a cheesy, choreographed dance in the background. I am starting to enjoy this place.

After our drink at the first bar, we head to the second bar. There is no one there. I am getting bored. We quickly throw down our drinks and head to the third bar. The third bar is where things get interesting. It was similar to the first bar, but smaller with a lot more people. We head straight to the bar. I am starting to have fun again. After we order some drinks, a cute Chinese girl with a “Carlsberg” outfit comes up to me and hands me a Carlsberg beer menu. I try to talk to her with my limited Chinese vocabulary. She doesn’t understand me and the silence gets a bit awkward. I slam down another drink. She heads elsewhere. Two cute girls come onto the stage and start singing with electro music playing. They are wearing ridiculous blue and white outfits with short tutus. I am loving it. The Chinese songs repeat the chorus often so I act like I know the song. The singers like it. A short, bald Chinese guy jumps on the stage with the girls. They don’t seem to mind. I think he owns the place or knows everyone there. We cheer him on. After his dance he comes over and gives us a drink, so we ganbei (cheers) him. We makes friends with two guys at another table. They have three girls with them. They yell out English words to us and we yell out the Chinese equivalents. Friends! Peng you! Cheers! Ganbei!

Now, Barron buys a bottle of whiskey. He starts handing out shots to our new Chinese friends. Things start to get crazy. We jump up on stage and start dancing. After that I have to use the restroom. I’m amazed that I haven’t been once the whole night. I really have to go. After I make it to the urinal and start to relieve myself, a bathroom attendant comes up to me. An awkward but enjoyable experience begins to happen. He places a damp, hot towel around my neck. A few seconds later he removes the towel and begins to massage my neck. I am still relieving myself. He gives me a quick head massage, then grabs my head and pops my neck in both directions. After that, while I am still relieving myself, he turns his back to me, locks arms with me and begins to lift me up over himself and pops my back while I am STILL relieving myself. I can no longer aim and it’s like a wild water hose getting all over the place. Once he finishes and I zip up, I head to the sink to wash my hands and give him 10rmb for the enjoyable yet completely awkward experience.

I head back to the bar, wash down another beer, and continue the night. We ended up closing the bar and getting back home pretty late. I slip into bed and pass out. Around 8am I wake up, look around and notice something is missing. Barron. His bed hasn’t even been touched. After wondering where he was for a couple minutes I hear grunting in the bathroom. He fell asleep in the shower while it was running for four hours! The night was a success.

There aren’t many foreigners in Nanjing.  So when the Chinese see a foreigner here, they like to stare. A lot. I’ll be walking down an aisle in a grocery store and the Chinese will look at me, and then look into my grocery cart to see what items I’m purchasing. Sometimes they’ll even snap pictures of the laowai (Chinese for foreigner) with their camera phones. It’s really odd having heaps of people interested in you, especially when you’re just an average American in a big city. I often get a “hello!” from a Chinese, even if they are on the other side of the street. Now I like to wink are the starers, and it usually gets a good response.

Thanks please.

Street food in Suzhou

No need to wear a shirt while sitting down at a restaurant (look at the guy in the back).

Update on the Xinjiekou incident. After wandering the streets of Nanjing a little more, it looks like all of the babies, toddlers, and small children are wearing trousers without crotches. If they have an urge, they just squat wherever they are on the street and relieve themselves. This is in a city with skyscrapers, subways, and a good public bus system. Not some little farm town.

Also, new photos on flickr.

At the Walmart in Xinjiekou, I witnessed a woman holding her naked baby over a trash bin as she tried to aim his urine stream into it. The strange thing was I walked two aisles over and found a whole row of baby diapers.

My first meal in China was at a Japanese restaurant in the Hong Kong airport. The pork dumplings were extra tasty.

I’m on the hunt for celebrities.

Below is a list of things I hope to achieve while in China for the year.

1. Hug a real panda bear

2. Eat an exotic food (scorpion, starfish, grasshopper, something gross)

3. Convince a Chinese person that I’m a celebrity and sign an autograph

4. Beat a Chinese man in Mahjong and publicy gloat about it

5. Battle a karate master while in my spiderman costume at the Shaolin Temple, the birthplace of Kung Fu

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

I plan on documenting each goal as I achieve them, whether it be a photo or video. The next five goals I am going to need help on. Any and all suggestions are welcome.

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The other night I found a stray cat. He didn’t have any tags on him so I figured I would keep him another week and then give him to a home before I head off to China. So I guess I have a temporary pet! He’s not very nice but I think he’s warming up to me.